For example, Lucy and Emily have a friend called Nicola who they both find irritating. She is stressful to talk to. Lucy called it "playing bat and ball", describing the competitive back and forth of conversation. It puts them on edge to talk to Nicola as they have to perform, and ironically, even though they are both part time actors, it is this need to put on a show which makes them feel so ill at ease. In contrast though, when Nicola leaves and they are free to talk, there is a literal sigh of relief. They smile and laugh and let it all out. Suddenly they feel "this is how it is supposed to be" and can finally relax and enjoy themselves.
Sam had a similiar tale. We asked her for her perfect moment with friends, and she chose the time just after her wedding. After all the stress of preparation, the excitement and expectations for the big event, she most enjoyed getting back to their house, putting on some music and chatting with friends. "The guys all loosened their ties and it just felt so good to be there with all my favourite people."
And lastly, perhaps Boxing Day is the most clear example of this. Christmas is one of the most stressful days of the year for many, and that moment when all the relatives leave on Boxing Day morning, there is an instant change in mood. I remember my Mum and Dad hugging as they closed the door on the final aunty, so overwhelmed with relief. You regain control at that moment and can once again choose who your spend you time with.
So whenever we are forced out of our comfort zone, it is worth remembering it is there waiting for us and it will be all the better having been briefly absent.
